Time is Money

Anyone who has ever played bridge with (or even against me) knows I like to grumble. When it comes to rubber bridge, I have special reason to complain — I'm a truly bad card holder. I play at the Regency Whist Club in NY as a host at games ranging from 1¢ to 10¢. I also make up the numbers in the big game but not for my own money.

On the first deal of the 10¢ game, I have no reason to complain. I hold AK62 QJ3 A73 AK10, and partner opens 1!

The bidding continues:

Parter	Me
1	1
2	2
3	6NT
Pass

RHO leads the 10 out of turn. This can't be bad. I have five choices.

forbid a spade lead
require a spade lead
make the 10 a penalty card and let LHO lead what he likes
allow the play to continue and put dummy down
let partner put the dummy down and continue play

Partner is a competent player, but I opt to forbid a spade lead. Despite Goldwater's Rule (a player who doesn't know whose lead it is probably isn't making a good one), any lead other than a spade looks good for me.

Grumbling, LHO leads a club, and I make 12 tricks easily.

The whole hand is

	J AK107 QJ94 J654
Q7 854 1062 Q9832		1098543 962 K85 7
	AK62 QJ3 A73 AK10

LHO starts shouting at RHO for leading out of turn. I ask whether he was going to lead a spade without the infraction. "No," he said, so I ask him what he is complaining about. Now RHO starts yelling about the club lead, "if you lead a heart you set it!" I throw some oil on troubled fires by suggesting that a diamond might have been the more normal lead since I sounded short there...now a good guess sees me home at T1.

"What do you play from dummy at trick one on the 2 lead?" "The 9 looks right to me I think, but who knows?" "You'll play the Q and I'll duck," he riposted. "Now you have no chance." It takes me a little while to work out the come-back.

Remarkably I can recover after playing the Q, ducked, without doing anything absurd but by producing a fascinating ending. The normal line is to win the Q, cash the A, lead the Q to the king, and play a club planning to finesse. When RHO shows out, I win the K, run the hearts (pitching a spade from hand), and cash the high spades, leaving this position:

	— — J9 J6
— — 106 Q9		109 — K5 —
	6 — A7 10

I lead the

10 from hand and the complainer is pickled. If he wins, he either exits with a diamond giving me two diamond tricks and an entry to the

J, or he exits with a club, bringing my

J to life and squeezing his partner at the same time! If he ducks the

10, I have a choice of pretty plays. I can overtake with the

J and exit with a club, which performs both the squeeze and the endplay; I have a choice how to win the last trick! Or I can stay in hand with the

10 and endplay RHO with a spade; he has been strip-squeezed on the

10!

I very carefully point out all the gory details to my opponents, of course. LHO shouts back, "time is money! Deal the next hand!"