Amusing Search Engine Hits

I've compiled a list of some search engine requests for my web pages. In just about all of these, it seems as if the the searcher ended up pretty disappointed. The number is the number of occurances of the string; the string is quoted. Editorial comments are in parentheses.

I am truly amazed at some of the matches...I didn't know my writing was that risque! What fun...I bet lots of folks match this page now...I love self-referential things.

• 10 "ak74" (Presumably misspelled AK47; matches a four-card suit.)
  (Someone has since told me that there is an AK74.)
• 1 "art comics fatale razor cyblade hellina"
• 1 "Big Boobs Tits Breasts"
• 1 "big tits breasts bossoms"
• 2 "breasts" (These seem to match recipes.)
• 3 "cheesecake photos"
• 6 "cock ball torture"
• 3 "destroy"
• 1 "ELF VLF MIND CONTROL"
• 1 "erotic women torture"
• 1 "Euphoric Deceptions"
• 7 "Fatale"
• 13 "Femme Fatale" (I wrote a bridge column called Femmes Fatale.)
• 1 "femme caltech"
• 3 "femmes"
• 1 "Femmes images"
• 6 "femmesfatalephoto"
• 3 "freak"
• 2 "FREAK SHOW" (I wrote a bridge column called Freak Show.)
• 1 "GAY QUEEN FAGGOT"
• 1 "gay torture"
• 3 "harem"
• 2 "harem outfit"
• 1 "haremcostume outfit dress"
• 1 "hitlers sexual torture"
• 1 "ice skaters in lingerie"
• 1 "japanese torture"
• 7 "Kaboom" (I wrote a bridge column called Kaboom!.)
• 1 "Katerina Witt Naked"
• 9 "Katerina Witt nude"
• 1 "kristi yamaguchi naked photos"
• 1 "lolita torture"
• 1 "male torture"
• 1 "massive breasts"
• 2 "midevil torture"
• 1 "military mind control"
• 11 "mind control" (Orbital Mind Control Lasers, of course)
• 1 "mind control forum"
• 1 "mind control or thought control parapsychology or psi"
• 1 "mind control sex"
• 1 "Naked Skaters"
• 14 "NANCY KERRIGAN NUDE"
• 1 "nancy kerrigan sexy ass"
• 17 "oksana baiul nude" (More popular than Nancy or Katerina?)
• 1 "overalls fettish"
• 2 "photo of torture"
• 2 "picture of torture or photos of torture"
• 1 "regina nationals lawn bowling results"
• 1 "reno brothels"
• 1 "sex torture"
• 1 "sex torture pictures"
• 5 "siedler cheat"
• 1 "slavesoldier rape torture ass"
• 5 "small breasts"
• 1 "Splash Mountain breasts"
• 1 "swindling"
• 1 "tablecloth companys"
• 1 "terraforming Venus"
• 1 "Tesla Theory mind control"
• 1 "testicle squeeze"
• 1 "the freak show"
• 1 "to destroy barny"
• 2 "tools of torture"
• 135 "torture" (Bridge in general)
• 1 "torture device stilletto"
• 1 "torture domina image"
• 1 "torture image"
• 1 "torture image*.*"
• 1 "torture personals"
• 1 "torture pics"
• 3 "torture pictures"
• 1 "torture sex"
• 1 "torturing."
• 1 "U.S. Swimming Nationals Fort Lauderdale FL August 12-17 1996 Results"
  (You'd think this poor person would have got the right thing!)
• 1 "using a barometer"
• 1 "wilt chamberlain sex"